Catching a flight requires a meticulous planning unless you want to spend a good amount of time sitting on a bench in airport. You are most likely NOT to use your own transportation unless you are coming back very soon, so you will need to take your time, reporting time, travel time, waiting time and buffer time for unforeseen events like your cab dying on you or cab driver unable to find your place or police catching your cab for speeding etc etc. This may all add up to about 2-4 hours generally. And we are mere mortals, who play at hands of devil who will assure us that even if we keep bare minimum margins, we can reach there in time, and that there wont be any traffic jams, cab wont die down and of course road will be all well. As for me, devil gets me most of the time, leaving me with some crazy stories of catching my flights. So am coming out with a series on this, how I have been able to pull up some of the craziest heist to my aeroplane flights.

PS: The concept of the post’s flow has been borrowed from my friend, this should settle the plagiarism case later!

Catching the crazy flight

The basics: Catch the SpiceJet flight SG 226 of 10:25AM from Hyderabad to reach Delhi by 12:25PM on a sunny yet breezy Friday of November.

Friday 9:02AM: I can see the airport pick up bus of 9 AM taking a U turn about 100mts away from me and then speeding away in the glory of sun, my heart beat has already risen to 120 beats per second (bps), my auto driver’s heart beat has just moved an inch to 78bps.

Friday 9:04AM: I reach the boarding point and ask when the next bus is. “10AM”, comes the terse reply. It doesn’t take a Bill Gates to calculate that the next bus is useless for me (bus journey time – 55mins).

Thursday 11:05PM: I decide to pack my bag for the trip next day. A little calculation and I decide to take the 9AM airport pick up bus, and leave home at 8:40AM. The pick up point is about 2+kms from home, to be filled by auto travel.

Thursday 11:50PM: I manage to end the call made by my mother to make sure I have put all the necessary items, I tell her that am yet to move an inch over there as she points out the things which need to go in my luggage. Screen says “Call duration 00:42:35″

Friday 01:45AM: I pull the zipper of the bag and sleepily set the alarm for 7:00AM in my mobile handset. Mobile prompts me to set the date and time; I ignore that and go to sleep.

Thursday 5:00PM: I change the SIM in my mobile and start it. It asks me to set the date and time, I cancel it.

Friday 8:10AM: My roomie is tapping on my shoulder shouting, “Jassi wake up! You will miss your flight!” Startled I look at my mobile, it is not showing the time, I go to Alarm menu and it asks me to set the date and time. I dump it and run for washroom.

Friday 8:40AM: I reach the main road, and hunt for an auto. I get one and he charges Rs.50 (for 2+kms), I grunt and put my bag in there and ask him to start.

Friday 8:44AM: A little further we find ourselves into a traffic jam; you can find such a jam on this road once about in a six months. I pass a louder grunt and look at my wrist to check the time. I have forgotten my watch. I take my mobile out, it doesn’t show any time or date.

Friday 9:05 AM: With my bus having gone in front of my eyes, I ask a guy at pick up point if he can arrange a taxi cab? He looks at me empathizing and tells that the cab will take 20 mins to reach us here. I ask him the time and set the time in my mobile, it now shows the date and time. The auto driver holding the Rs.50 note I have given him. My heart beat is 137bps and auto driver is at 97bps.

Friday 9:07AM: A cab company tells me that there is no free driver near me and it will take them half an hour to reach me. Auto driver is still looking at me, he says he can drop me if I can give him Rs.450; am cribbing that amount is too high as auto starts for the airport.

Friday 9:37AM: We are struck in another traffic jam, am being convinced by driver that it is just a small one and that he will get me there by 10AM flat. Estimated time to Airport: 23mins, estimated distance to airport: 9+kms.

Friday 9:57AM: I can see airport road, its race against time now; zero margin for error, 100% margin for miracle. I call my sister if she can get me checked in via web; she checks website and tells me I need to web check-in at least 2 hours prior to departure. My heart beat is 130bps, auto driver is at 120bps and my sis is doing somewhere above 145bps.

Friday 10:10AM: The departure terminal is at first floor and a long arc of road will take us there, I can see the departure terminal clearly with everything else blurred, its still 350mts away from us. A constable stops us, saying the auto can not go further. I use all my salesman ship, push my auto guy to pitch for me, show him my flight tickets. “Sorry Sir, I will lose my job if I allow you.” He points me to a nearby bus which is supposed to take me to the departure terminal in another 2 min. I settle the bill with auto guy and run for the bus.

Last week: I have been down with undiagnosed fever for over two weeks. Doctor has made me take tests for Malaria, Dengue, Chikungunya, Hepatitis, Typhoid and multiple samples of blood, and he is till unclear.

Thursday 6:20PM: Doc advises me to get hospitalized and be under constant care. My joints are already aching like hell and it has become difficult for me to even walk. Doc tells me with smile that if I get hospitalized all my bills will get reimbursed and it will be cashless admission. I smell commerce and call my parents who order me to come ASAP to home.

Friday 10:12AM: I push hard to walk fast to reach the bus as my joints cry foul. Bus is filled with passengers but not the driver. I scan the periphery and can see long line of Mahindra Logan taxi’s of Meru. I ask the guy if he will drop me on departure terminal up 350m for Rs.50. He looks and me says he can do so for Rs.100. I grunt as the cab race on the arc.

Friday 10:17AM: I thrust hundred rupee note on the guy and race for the entry, get through the initial pass and bang on the SpiceJet counter. The guy’s name plate reads ‘Sikandar’; I plead customized pleas to Sikandar and put on counter all the doc prescriptions.

Friday 10:28AM: He prints my boarding pass and tells me flight is late by few minutes and asks me to rush through the security check. I thank him profusely and tell him that I will always remember this favor (it’s been a year now, and yes I still remember his name!)

Friday 10:40AM: I call my sis to let her know I made it. My heart beat – 72bpm, my sis at 78bpm and average hear beat at that moment on earth – 80bpm

Friday 11:15AM: Flight attendant says we can use our laptops and non interfering electronic devices. I put on earphones and turn on my Sony Walkman MP3. Ozzy Osbourne’s lyrics “Mama am coming home” fill my ears.